After Toni saw a book cover for a mail order bride romance, she suggested that for a costume. I’m sure she fancied a frontier version of a bridal gown. Little did she realize that I was plotting a prank. She had been rather demanding lately wanting her costumes to be more and more elaborate. This one was going to be easy to assemble.
I quizzed her on her concept of mail order brides, asking if she knew she would have to travel back to frontier times and live in a ranch house without electricity. Toni asked if there were other versions of this, so I told her about Russian mail order brides and said we could change her name to Svetlana or Anastasia and she could advertise on the Internet for a husband.
Most people are ordering everything from Amazon during the pandemic I told her, so I’ll fix you up as an Amazon mail order bride. She looked doubtful but I started making her costume.
First, we tried out some different lace for her hair. Not exactly a veil, more of a mantilla. Then I picked some miniature flowers for her bridal bouquet. It included shamrock flowers, some purple flowers that I don’t know the name of, and purple shamrock leaves (for good luck). I wrapped the stems in more lace to match.
“What are you doing with that bag?” Toni asked, her voice sounding suddenly suspicious. I told her to slip her feet out the holes in the bottom of the bag and her arms through the two holes higher up. Since I’d turned various odd things into clothing before, she complied but with reluctance.
“This is how modern mail order brides are shipped from Amazon,” I told her. I pointed out that they leave the head outside the bag so the bride can breathe. “You think this is funny, don’t you?” she ranted, “Get me out of here!”
I took a few more photos for her scrapbook, before helping her escape from the bag. She went to her room to sulk.